By Ace the Deer Dog. The humans think they run things around here, but, as we all know, this is my ranch.
I work with a bunch of juvenile pyromaniacs. The humans are trying to burn down the ranch, literally. They do it every year. Hunting season ends, and they burn all the fields to the ground.
My nose is running. My tail is dragging. About the only fun I have is when rabbits run out of the fields and I get to chase them. Nearly caught one too, but they’re quick. The humans laugh, but they eat too many cheeseburgers to even think of catching rabbits.
Donald says they have to burn the place down every year to make sure there is food for all the deer… but I know the truth, the humans just like to set stuff on fire. They laugh, they have fun. My nose runs and my eyes water.
Somebody please come save me! My nose is a delicate instrument of deer-finding perfection. Why ruin it with all this smoke?
Next week will be better though. I get to ride the tractor. With all of the burns done, we get to plant. I like the tractor. I sit up big, and make sure the boys drive in straight lines. Jacob is the worst of all the tractor drivers. The kid couldn’t find a straight line with a ruler and a prayer from the Pope… but he feeds me treats so I don’t tell on him.
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